Many of the participants in my very first coaching workshop did not go on to further coach training. And they were nevertheless transformed. As we parted, we spoke of the power of bringing our own life stories to people who had been perfect strangers. The very fact of being listened to deeply in a way that accepted all that we brought to the table was energizing and created new possibilities.

All of this came back to me as I read Community: The Structure of Belonging by Peter Block. Block’s book is for people who care—about their communities and schools and organizations. It is for people who may be cynical about our usual way of creating change. Block offers a detailed blueprint for how to create a community in which accountability and commitment are primary. He points us toward a new way of leading that honors what is possible when people are valued, connected and allowed to take responsibility for their own future.

Right in the middle of the book, Block hones in on a critical precondition: The need to pay more attention to the questions we ask as we convene people to create change. It is not that we have not been asking questions all along. It is that the questions we ask narrow our possibilities, absolve us of responsibility and assume that change can be “controlled into existence.” Here are a few of the questions that reflect the old mindset:

• How do we get others to show up and be committed?
• How do we get others to be more responsible?
• How do we get others to buy into our vision?
• Who has solved this elsewhere and how do we import that knowledge

And here are the powerful questions that have the potential to transform:

• What is the commitment you hold that brought you into this room?
• How valuable do you plan for this effort to be?
• What declaration of possibility can you make that has the power to transform the community and inspire you?
• What is the story you keep telling about the problems of this community?
• What is your contribution to the very thing you complain about?
• What are the gifts you have that you do not fully acknowledge?

Can you feel the difference? These questions ask something of all of us. In answering them we are already taking a stance—even if that stance is to disengage. These questions make it hard to be indifferent. They require us to bring our whole selves into the room. They assume that the communal agenda emerges out of our personal concerns and there is a little bit of an edge to them. They are not easy to answer.

Ask yourself these questions, and then find a few other people in your community and talk about them together. See what happens. Let me know.

Looking for an issue to get behind? How about focusing on the whole child in our educational system? Want to strengthen your community’s capacity to keep learning together? Try these resources.